Posted in after gastric bypass surgery, life after gastric bypass, weight loss surgery experiences

When Your Partner Doesn’t Support You

*I am NOT a mental health professional and I urge you to seek appropriate counseling for any relationship problems*

For many of us who have weight loss surgery, we have had weight issues most of our lives.  I for one battled with my weight since the age of 12.  So when we hear the words “you’re approved” it’s a mix of feelings; relief, happiness, nervousness, excitement…I’m sure you can fill in many others you felt when you heard the news for yourself. We all imagine our spouse/significant other will be behind us 100% in our decision to change our life for the better and put an end to our obesity struggles.


But what happens when you’re partner doesn’t support your decision to go under the knife?  Why would he/she react this way?  More and more I’m hearing of couples having relationship issues either during the approval process or soon after the surgery is done.  There are many reasons that your partner might not support your decision for weight loss surgery.  For many, couples met and fell in love while at their current weight.  Basically who you are (and are trying to change with your WLS) is who your partner fell in love with.  The new you will take some getting used to.

Some lack of support may be due to worry that you will now be more attractive to other people and leave him/her for someone else.  If your partners is also heavy and unhappy with their weight, good ‘ole fashioned jealousy can be at play that you are able to change for the better and they are not.

Sometimes, without realizing it, our surgery becomes our sole focus, and that can wear on the other person (and honestly our other friends and family, not just our partners).  It’s a big deal to us, and even if our loved ones are happy for us, and supportive, it doesn’t mean they want to hear about it during ever conversation…that’s when support groups come in handy, so we can talk about it to our hearts content!

If your partner is truly disrespecting you, insulting you, or hurting you in anyway, do NOT tolerate that!  But if it seems to be simply they are having a rough time with the changes your surgery brought on, try talking honestly about them, and meet him/her halfway, and see if attitudes can shift to make both of you happy again.  One of the biggest changes in your life doesn’t have to mean an end to your relationship!


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Posted in Bariatric books, Gastric bypass books, healing after gastric bypass, life after gastric bypass, weight loss surgery experiences

7 Best Books for Bariatric Surgery

When I was getting ready for my gastric bypass surgery, I read whatever I could about it.  Back then, blogs and online support groups were pretty new, and few and far between, so I read a few books on the topic.  Now, there are tons of online resources, but I still really like a “all info in one place” book.  Here is a list of 7 of the most popular and helpful out there!

The Sleeved Life  by Pennie Nicola is about her journey getting the vertical sleeve gasterectomy.  The cool thing about this book is she combines her personal story with lots of the most recent research on this type of WLS.

The Big Book on the Gastric Bypass has everything about gastric bypass, from how to pick a surgeon, what to expect pre-op, how the surgery is performed, recovery, etc.  It has lots of info about afterwards as well, how much you can expect to lose, the diet, & exercising after.

Weight Loss Surgery:  The Real Skinny is a great one that talks about all the “bad” parts of WLS.  It goes over the mental aspects, how to change your relationship with food, and how to handle when you don’t get the results you were hoping for.

The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients (3rd addition) has stories from patients that have had all different bariatric surgeries.  Patients interviewed are long term success stories, from 5, 10, 15 years ago, some from 30 years ago!

Back On Track After Weight Loss Surgery is great for any of us struggling with weight regain, with slipping into bad eating habits, not making time to work out, etc.

Weight Loss Surgery for DummiesWeight Loss Surgery for Dummies I absolutely love the “Dummies” books so of course this one had to make the list!  As all the other “Dummies” books, this one is written in clear, easy to understand language, tons of tips and tricks, and fun to read.

Al Roker:  Never Goin’ Back I had to include Al Roker from NBC on this list.  He is such an inspiration, and this open and honest story of his life, his struggles as a child with his weight, and what finally led him to getting bariatric surgery, is a must read

Most of these are available hardcopy or on your kindle, which is personally my favorite way to read 🙂
Please comment and let me know what your favorite WLS book, article, blog or website is!

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Posted in bariatric eating, gastric bypass diet, life after gastric bypass, Uncategorized

A Sample Menu of a 7 Year Post-Op

I’m always curious what other people are eating.  When I was a newbie, there were lots of different sites that had sample menus based on what stage I was at.  Liquids, full liquids, purees, soft foods…I never had trouble finding out what to eat.  As a long-term post op, not so much.  There are not a whole lot of “sample menus” of people who are further out.  Why?  Probably because lots of us don’t bother to track anymore.  Or we have our routines down so well we don’t put too much thought into it anymore.

So, here’s a sample menu of mine, in case you every wondered “what are long term post ops eating?”

B:  1 ripe banana with 1 tablespoon peanut butter and non-fat Greek yogurt

S:  baby carrots with red pepper humus

L:  1/2 turkey and cheese sandwich on double fiber whole grain bread, 1 cup vegetable soup

S:  protein shake

D:  1/2 grilled chicken breast, veggies and couscous

S:  no sugar added rice pudding

Do I measure my food?  Nope.  Do I count calories?  Nope.  Should I?  That’s a matter of opinion.  In the 7 years since my gastric bypass, I’ve gotten pretty good at eyeballing up my food, knowing how much will fit in the pouch.  If there’s more on my plate then ends up fitting, it goes down the garbage disposal.  I’ve learned to pay very close attention to my “full” cues and listen to them at all times.  When I’m done, I’m done.  If I’m not hungry, I don’t eat.  No foods are off limits, but I chose to eat good ones the majority of the time.

One of my favorite things about this surgery is that if I use it correctly my pouch will tell me what works and what doesn’t.  If I eat something I shouldn’t, it sure lets me know.  If I over fill it, ditto.  If you still measure, count calories, etc, and that works for you that’s great!  Everyone should find the groove that works for them and use it.  As long as we have the results we’re looking for, no need to change the routine!   If you’re looking for a new protein shake to add to your food log, try my Orange Creme Shake!

orange-creme  Orange Creme Protein Shake

5-6 ice cubes

1 cup fat-free milk

1/2 cup no sugar added manderine oranges

1 scoop Muscle Pharm Combat-Orange Creamsicle

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 packets Splenda

Add all ingredients to blender and pulse until smooth.   Enjoy ice cold.

*Approximate nutrition:  261 cals, 2g fat, 33g protein, 8g sugar

Posted in bariatric goals, benefits to bariatric surgery, bypass operation, life after gastric bypass

25 goals I accomplished after gastric bypass

Everyone has goals in mind before their gastric bypass surgery; what big and little things they would like to accomplish and things they would like to be able to do.  I had a few, but have realized over the years that I have had more little, and big, wonderful changes in my life then I ever thought I would.  Here are 25 of the many I notice day in and day out of my new life! 

  1. Not getting out of breath going up and down the stairs.
  2. Eliminated most of my pre-surgery meds.
  3. No longer pre-diabetic. 
  4. Can get up and down off the floor with ease to play with my kids.
  5. Drastic reduction in my cholesterol and triglyceride numbers. 
  6. Feel confident in a bathing suit again.
  7. Fit comfortably on rides at amusement parks.
  8. Satisfied with normal food portions.
  9. No rude looks anymore when I’m eating.
  10. Can swing with my kids at the playground.
  11. Fit in a booth at a restaurant with plenty of room to spare!
  12. Fit comfortably in the back seat of a car.
  13. Not embarassed to have my picture taken!
  14. I don’t worry anymore people are making fun of my size.
  15. I will never have to shop in the plus section again!
  16. My second pregnancy was easier than my first without all that extra weight.  
  17. Not hungry all the time anymore.
  18. I sleep much better.
  19. I don’t worry I’m the “fat” mom and my kids will be embarrassed by that. 
  20. Wear cute, sexy dresses to special events.
  21. Dance at weddings.
  22. Cross my legs!
  23. Not have my thighs rub together when I walk.
  24. Am much smaller than my husband.
  25. Am no longer the “fat chick”.